I’m an everyday person.
A book without a cover.
A story you read hundred times before.
Nothing interesting
Or raises curiosity
I’m a boring song
Annoying melody
Heard thousand times before
I’m nothing but normal,
If not below normal.
I’m no body’s dream
I’m not even a thought.
I catch no second glances
If I caught a first
then I am lucky
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
When Your Muse Turns Against You.
“Can I know what am I doing here now?”
“You are here to help me write, aren’t you?”
“And what do you want to write about now?”
“Work”
“What’s wrong with your work?” He answered with a sigh.
“They are treating us like slaves, they don’t tell us stuff about anything and we are the ones to blame if we made a mistake. Not to mention, that they say something and they deny it later…”
“Are you gonna complain more?” he interrupted, seeming bored.
“What?”
“All you do is complaining. Whenever I am here you complain. First, school, then, college, next comes work, and what will you complain about later, marriage. I am sick of your complains. Not everything you should write about is only complains. Write about something fun, gardens, hobbits, elves, anything happy. PLEASE”
I looked baffled. He never, and I mean NEVER, talked to me like that. We sure had small talks and discussions where we had conflicting ideas, but no real conflicts. What is going on? Since when do muses turn against you?
“Wha…WHAT are you talking about? I don’t complain all the time. I write funny stories…”
“You mean dark comedies.”
“I write romances…”
“Where people get cancer and die horrible deaths”
“I write, I write, yes I write thrillers…”
“This is an only one, which you even didn’t complete”
“And whose fault is that?. YOU are my MUSE. You are responsible for my writing”
“And I am telling you now to stop this kind of writing and choose something else.”
“Like what? I don’t know how to write something else”
“What are you doing now?”
“Writing”
“Wasn’t it me who helped you to write our predicament here?”
“Yes”
“So, I am always here to help you. All you have to do is just sit in front of the computer and stare at the blank screen. Summon me just like you did right now, and I will be here in no time.” He said smirking.
“It’s not like you answer every time.” I looked at him. Giving him the ‘don’t give me that shit, I know it all’ look
“Well I am a guy and I have needs, so when I don’t have needs, just holler and I will be here. Of course holler in your head, figuratively. Don’t do it for real, people would think you went crazy”
“FINE”
“So you agree?”
“Agree about what?”
“NO COMPLAINS”
“We will see, I’ll do my best, can’t promise you more than that. No pun intended.”
“Ok, I can deal with that?. So, do you need anything else?”
“Are you leaving?”
“Yeah, did you see the music muse, MAN, isn’t she hot?”
“Get out of here, you disgust me.”
“Well you love me and neeeeeed me” he said rubbing my arm.
“GET OUT, and don’t forget I will need you soon, I have to finish another chapter of my novel”
“OK, take care, love you” He kissed my cheek and went as he came. Just like that.
“You are here to help me write, aren’t you?”
“And what do you want to write about now?”
“Work”
“What’s wrong with your work?” He answered with a sigh.
“They are treating us like slaves, they don’t tell us stuff about anything and we are the ones to blame if we made a mistake. Not to mention, that they say something and they deny it later…”
“Are you gonna complain more?” he interrupted, seeming bored.
“What?”
“All you do is complaining. Whenever I am here you complain. First, school, then, college, next comes work, and what will you complain about later, marriage. I am sick of your complains. Not everything you should write about is only complains. Write about something fun, gardens, hobbits, elves, anything happy. PLEASE”
I looked baffled. He never, and I mean NEVER, talked to me like that. We sure had small talks and discussions where we had conflicting ideas, but no real conflicts. What is going on? Since when do muses turn against you?
“Wha…WHAT are you talking about? I don’t complain all the time. I write funny stories…”
“You mean dark comedies.”
“I write romances…”
“Where people get cancer and die horrible deaths”
“I write, I write, yes I write thrillers…”
“This is an only one, which you even didn’t complete”
“And whose fault is that?. YOU are my MUSE. You are responsible for my writing”
“And I am telling you now to stop this kind of writing and choose something else.”
“Like what? I don’t know how to write something else”
“What are you doing now?”
“Writing”
“Wasn’t it me who helped you to write our predicament here?”
“Yes”
“So, I am always here to help you. All you have to do is just sit in front of the computer and stare at the blank screen. Summon me just like you did right now, and I will be here in no time.” He said smirking.
“It’s not like you answer every time.” I looked at him. Giving him the ‘don’t give me that shit, I know it all’ look
“Well I am a guy and I have needs, so when I don’t have needs, just holler and I will be here. Of course holler in your head, figuratively. Don’t do it for real, people would think you went crazy”
“FINE”
“So you agree?”
“Agree about what?”
“NO COMPLAINS”
“We will see, I’ll do my best, can’t promise you more than that. No pun intended.”
“Ok, I can deal with that?. So, do you need anything else?”
“Are you leaving?”
“Yeah, did you see the music muse, MAN, isn’t she hot?”
“Get out of here, you disgust me.”
“Well you love me and neeeeeed me” he said rubbing my arm.
“GET OUT, and don’t forget I will need you soon, I have to finish another chapter of my novel”
“OK, take care, love you” He kissed my cheek and went as he came. Just like that.
Thursday, February 28, 2008
Reminiscing
I've been searching through my old files, trying to find something, some work, that is still left incomplete, or at least something that would break through my writer's block. I came across this piece that I wrote before, while having a Writer's block similar to the one I suffer from these days. I wanted to share it with you.
"Thoughts are jumping in my head, the trampoline is set and I feel lost.
Thoughts are running with no place to go. I don’t want to work. Yet I do.
I want to write but nothing is transformed into paper. Sea of words and sentences swirling in my head. But I am too lazy to actually pick up the pen or computer to write them.
This is it. I am lazy. I know my problem, but I don’t know the solution.
I need help because my mind is turning against me, and I can't control it.
I need help but there is no one there reaching for me.
I'm drowning in a sea of confusing thoughts. And none of them is reaching a shore. Neither I am.
I need help. Yet I am still too lazy to ask for it. Too lazy to go to someone. And people around me can’t reach me.
HA!. I want them to come to ME to help ME. Who would do that? It is simply stupid enough.
No one now is welling to help some one for simply the sake of helping. You need to ask for it first. And half of us are either too proud, Or simply lazy to ask.
We need help, but who is there to help us.
We need help, but each one of us is stuck in their problem, they can't even glance at anyone. They can't see anyone but themselves.
We need help but everyone is too lazy to help the other.
I'm even too lazy to go on with this piece. Let's go watch some TV, or surf online. As if they hold the answers to our entire problems.
They sure are helping us. But they are no problem solvers. Especially to the REAL problems we are facing.
On a second thought, our problems are not laziness or indifference now, we are beyond that.
Our problem is US. And we need help from ourselves.
But who is there to help."
I don't know why I felt this urge to share this with you. However, I hope that this piece would be able to help you break YOUR writer's block one day.
Take Care.
S.H. Zein.
P.S. As usual, if you have problems with my mistakes and style, Constructive criticism is always great. Thanks.
"Thoughts are jumping in my head, the trampoline is set and I feel lost.
Thoughts are running with no place to go. I don’t want to work. Yet I do.
I want to write but nothing is transformed into paper. Sea of words and sentences swirling in my head. But I am too lazy to actually pick up the pen or computer to write them.
This is it. I am lazy. I know my problem, but I don’t know the solution.
I need help because my mind is turning against me, and I can't control it.
I need help but there is no one there reaching for me.
I'm drowning in a sea of confusing thoughts. And none of them is reaching a shore. Neither I am.
I need help. Yet I am still too lazy to ask for it. Too lazy to go to someone. And people around me can’t reach me.
HA!. I want them to come to ME to help ME. Who would do that? It is simply stupid enough.
No one now is welling to help some one for simply the sake of helping. You need to ask for it first. And half of us are either too proud, Or simply lazy to ask.
We need help, but who is there to help us.
We need help, but each one of us is stuck in their problem, they can't even glance at anyone. They can't see anyone but themselves.
We need help but everyone is too lazy to help the other.
I'm even too lazy to go on with this piece. Let's go watch some TV, or surf online. As if they hold the answers to our entire problems.
They sure are helping us. But they are no problem solvers. Especially to the REAL problems we are facing.
On a second thought, our problems are not laziness or indifference now, we are beyond that.
Our problem is US. And we need help from ourselves.
But who is there to help."
I don't know why I felt this urge to share this with you. However, I hope that this piece would be able to help you break YOUR writer's block one day.
Take Care.
S.H. Zein.
P.S. As usual, if you have problems with my mistakes and style, Constructive criticism is always great. Thanks.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
To Egypt
First, before I start talking about anything, I would like to send my condolences to the family of the journalist Magdy Mehna, The Great, Brave Journalist who died on Saturday February 9th 2008, after his fight with cancer. May Allah bliss your soul. He was a man who loved Egypt with all his heart, and in return all Egypt loved him. You will not be forgotten.
Secondly, Congratulations to all Egyptians on winning the African Cup. “The Pharaohs is writing modern history” is what the BBC said. “The Pharaohs' secured a record-breaking sixth title with a 1-0 win over Cameroon in the Accra final…The defending champions ensured the win when Mohamed Zidan forced an error from Cameroon captain Rigobert Song to play in Mohamed Aboutrika for the only goal of the game.” Source BBC
Egyptians felled the streets with joyous cries after the goal hit the net. It was an impossible dream to win Cameroon, but thanks to Hassan Shehata and the Egyptian champions, it became a reality.
Congratulations to all Egyptians, We are proud of our national soccer team.
Secondly, Congratulations to all Egyptians on winning the African Cup. “The Pharaohs is writing modern history” is what the BBC said. “The Pharaohs' secured a record-breaking sixth title with a 1-0 win over Cameroon in the Accra final…The defending champions ensured the win when Mohamed Zidan forced an error from Cameroon captain Rigobert Song to play in Mohamed Aboutrika for the only goal of the game.” Source BBC
Egyptians felled the streets with joyous cries after the goal hit the net. It was an impossible dream to win Cameroon, but thanks to Hassan Shehata and the Egyptian champions, it became a reality.
Congratulations to all Egyptians, We are proud of our national soccer team.
Saturday, February 9, 2008
Frustrated
As known, these days we have internet shortage in the Middle East. Some ship near Alexandria unintentionally; I still don’t know how, destroyed the main cables that provide the whole region with ADSL connection. That was nearly a week ago.
So, here I am, writing this blog entry, even though I still didn’t send the one before that, at 9:23 am (and that’s really early for me, lol). My internet connection is driving me crazy, I keep refreshing the Google main page at least five times before I get only the search bar, and no photo of the word Google at all. It frustrates me since they said that they would fix the problem, temporarily with the satellite or something like that. What satellite makes your download speed 932 bytes/sec. Let’s not forget, they also say that this problem will be fixed within 2 weeks, that’s in Middle Eastern talk means at least a year.
My mind is blank right now, I am very angry I can’t think of what can I write right now. I’ll complete the thousand words another time then.
Take care
S.H. Zein
So, here I am, writing this blog entry, even though I still didn’t send the one before that, at 9:23 am (and that’s really early for me, lol). My internet connection is driving me crazy, I keep refreshing the Google main page at least five times before I get only the search bar, and no photo of the word Google at all. It frustrates me since they said that they would fix the problem, temporarily with the satellite or something like that. What satellite makes your download speed 932 bytes/sec. Let’s not forget, they also say that this problem will be fixed within 2 weeks, that’s in Middle Eastern talk means at least a year.
My mind is blank right now, I am very angry I can’t think of what can I write right now. I’ll complete the thousand words another time then.
Take care
S.H. Zein
Rise of the Dead
I know it’s been so long since I wrote in this blog. I am very sorry that it was left on hiatus for this long, but I promise from now on I will start writing more frequently.
Why all of a sudden is the interest of the blog again? A program on DWTV, The German television on the satellite that my brother is addicted to, had a show called In Focus, about the bloggers, and how much they influence people, also, that this is the way to voice your point of view to all the people around the world. So, I had an epiphany.
Not to mention that the book I am reading these days is, On Writing, for Stephen King of course, a book I recommend to everyone. In the book, King had this ritual, of writing a certain number of words per day; of course I am sure that most of the population of the earth already knows that. Since I want to be a writer so much, I decided to start with a thousand words a day. Hopefully I would keep my word. Those thousand words will differ from, fiction, nonfiction and Fan fiction; let’s not forget my obsession with a certain Backstreet Boy here.
So, after these reasons on why this blog has come to life, Let me talk a little about me. Since this is sure the first time you read about me or even read this blog to begin with.
My name is Shaimaa Zein, a hard name to spell if you don’t know Arabic. I come from the land of the Pharos, and yes I live in the past so sue meJ. I am from Egypt. 21 year old girl, a fresh graduate with English language and literature major, hence the writing obsession. No minor though, since our Egyptian Educational system is hard to comprehend, but let’s keep that story for another time.
I live with my parents, and I am proud of it. Traditions here in Egypt are totally different from the west when it comes to this. We, children either male or female, don’t leave our parents houses unless we work abroad or we get married, Of course since we are an eastern community, not many girls have the privilege of the first reason. But let’s not also talk about that now since it is a very long story as well.
With the re-opening of this blog, I have a lot of things that I need to do in the near future. Well, need is a big word, I want to do these stuff. They might be trivial to a lot of people, but I am looking for a lifestyle make over. I am working on losing weight these days. Been off track for a while now, but I will be back on track starting now. I need to work out, because I already don’t eat too much. Sitting down all day is the reason why I gain weight. So as well as working out, I would love to start Yoga, yes you read right stop laughing already. I am just not sure when will I join a class for Yoga but I will start looking for one that is near where I live.
I also want to learn the Guitar; I have a Spanish guitar that is sitting in my room collecting dust for two years now. If I learned the Guitar soon hopefully I would be able to record something one day and upload it for you to hear and tell me what you would think.
Enough babbling and let’s start something coherent for once. In the previous posts in the blog, you will find a short story that only my close friends read before, and two chapters of my famous, or infamous, Fan fiction, The Scent of Affection. You will find the rest of the chapters here http://absolutechaos.net/viewstory.php?sid=8464&warning=4 . The story isn’t finished yet, and it will be updated soon, so wish me luck. And send feedback as well, who doesn’t like feedback.
I know I didn’t reach 1000 word yet, but I made you bored as it is. So I will end this here. I hope I would read your comment about my writings soon. Take care.
S.H. Zein.
P.S. Thanks to all my friends, Noha, Islam, Sam, and my brother Ihab. They are the ones that keep me going, they are the ones that keep encouraging me to achieve my dreams. I don’t think I would be still alive if it weren’t for them.
P.P.S. I also want to thank Jocelyn for unintentionally giving me the idea to write my thoughts. You are also one of the reasons why I re-wrote here. Thanks, and keep writing girl.
Why all of a sudden is the interest of the blog again? A program on DWTV, The German television on the satellite that my brother is addicted to, had a show called In Focus, about the bloggers, and how much they influence people, also, that this is the way to voice your point of view to all the people around the world. So, I had an epiphany.
Not to mention that the book I am reading these days is, On Writing, for Stephen King of course, a book I recommend to everyone. In the book, King had this ritual, of writing a certain number of words per day; of course I am sure that most of the population of the earth already knows that. Since I want to be a writer so much, I decided to start with a thousand words a day. Hopefully I would keep my word. Those thousand words will differ from, fiction, nonfiction and Fan fiction; let’s not forget my obsession with a certain Backstreet Boy here.
So, after these reasons on why this blog has come to life, Let me talk a little about me. Since this is sure the first time you read about me or even read this blog to begin with.
My name is Shaimaa Zein, a hard name to spell if you don’t know Arabic. I come from the land of the Pharos, and yes I live in the past so sue meJ. I am from Egypt. 21 year old girl, a fresh graduate with English language and literature major, hence the writing obsession. No minor though, since our Egyptian Educational system is hard to comprehend, but let’s keep that story for another time.
I live with my parents, and I am proud of it. Traditions here in Egypt are totally different from the west when it comes to this. We, children either male or female, don’t leave our parents houses unless we work abroad or we get married, Of course since we are an eastern community, not many girls have the privilege of the first reason. But let’s not also talk about that now since it is a very long story as well.
With the re-opening of this blog, I have a lot of things that I need to do in the near future. Well, need is a big word, I want to do these stuff. They might be trivial to a lot of people, but I am looking for a lifestyle make over. I am working on losing weight these days. Been off track for a while now, but I will be back on track starting now. I need to work out, because I already don’t eat too much. Sitting down all day is the reason why I gain weight. So as well as working out, I would love to start Yoga, yes you read right stop laughing already. I am just not sure when will I join a class for Yoga but I will start looking for one that is near where I live.
I also want to learn the Guitar; I have a Spanish guitar that is sitting in my room collecting dust for two years now. If I learned the Guitar soon hopefully I would be able to record something one day and upload it for you to hear and tell me what you would think.
Enough babbling and let’s start something coherent for once. In the previous posts in the blog, you will find a short story that only my close friends read before, and two chapters of my famous, or infamous, Fan fiction, The Scent of Affection. You will find the rest of the chapters here http://absolutechaos.net/viewstory.php?sid=8464&warning=4 . The story isn’t finished yet, and it will be updated soon, so wish me luck. And send feedback as well, who doesn’t like feedback.
I know I didn’t reach 1000 word yet, but I made you bored as it is. So I will end this here. I hope I would read your comment about my writings soon. Take care.
S.H. Zein.
P.S. Thanks to all my friends, Noha, Islam, Sam, and my brother Ihab. They are the ones that keep me going, they are the ones that keep encouraging me to achieve my dreams. I don’t think I would be still alive if it weren’t for them.
P.P.S. I also want to thank Jocelyn for unintentionally giving me the idea to write my thoughts. You are also one of the reasons why I re-wrote here. Thanks, and keep writing girl.
Thursday, May 24, 2007
FanFiction:Scent of Affection:Ch2
What the heck did I put myself into?
Too much information for me to understand, AND they STILL keep talking.
Oh yeah, I forgot to say, I figured that my patient is not only so much younger than I thought, but a backstreet boy as well. Yippee. I love the guys to death, but to find out that the guy you are suppose to see naked every day and don’t care, is your crush. It is too much.
“So you see it's just that we couldn't tell the people about us needing an aroma therapist. Imagine how many will be applying for the job." Brian, who is also "Thomas" with the familiar eyes, said laughing
“Oh! Yeah" Was the only answer I could come up with.
“And we choose you because you are young. You could make friends with him easily. Of course, this is Brian’s reason. For me, at least he wouldn’t doubt why you are really here. It’s just that he doesn’t like the idea that much" The one in the sunglasses, who I also figured that he is the one and only Kevin Richardson, told me. Two certificates and I got it because simply I am "young". What an encouragement.
“Oh I'm sorry Mr. Richardson; please don't tell me that he doesn’t like the idea. Any aromatherapy patient has to believe in the therapy in order for it to work. In a position like this it will mean that I failed with him.”
“Oh no, he will like it, trust me,” he said with a determined tone.
“So here we go” Brian said when we reached the room, then opened the door.
“Yo Nick…AJ, we want you to meet Miss Russell" Brian announced
“Hi” I said with an extended hand towards AJ.
“Wow” Then he was nudged by Howie,
"Oh sorry, nice to meet you” He said shaking my hand.
“Nice to meet you too"
Then the other hand belonged to Howie "Nice to have you on tour. Hope you like it with us" Always the Sweet D I see.
“Thanks”
“So, what are you doing on tour with us? You don't look like a musician or a dancer" Nick said. Hey mister, my hand is still in the air here. I expected anything but offensive. What did I do in my life that God would punish me like this?
“Miss Russell is an aroma-therapist for us on tour" Kevin said
“You shitting me" Nice answer Carter. -20 points for you
“Behave” Kevin answered with a “don’t mess with me look”
“Nice. I like that" That came from AJ. Always the charmer I guess. “We might need some relaxation every once a while”
“Oh yeah Nick, it's a nice idea" said Brian trying to convince him
So, here to me it looks like all of them know why I am here except my patient, he will like it my ass Mr. Richardson. The guy hates my guts. It shows from the way he looked at me.
“This thing is for gays, I ain’t one" Nick’s answer took me out of my thoughts
“I assure you Mr. Carter it’s not. Aromatherapy is just like any other therapy; with no chemicals in it. It's safer. It is simply an alternative medicine" I argued
“Who asked for your opinion anyway?” he looked my way and said with a nasty tone. Ok this is enough, I was about to say something, but thank goodness Kevin did first
“I said behave. How do you speak like this with a lady?" The only response he got from Nick was a pair of eyes rolling .Yet he completed "beside it's a done deal, Miss Russell is our aromatherapist, and she will be till the end of the tour, and you will be her patient". Nick looked up with surprised eyes.
“Just like the rest of us" Brian said looking at Kevin, trying not to blow their cover I guess
“Yeah…right…Just like the rest of us” Was Kevin’s only reply.
And I said to myself
OH GOD
Too much information for me to understand, AND they STILL keep talking.
Oh yeah, I forgot to say, I figured that my patient is not only so much younger than I thought, but a backstreet boy as well. Yippee. I love the guys to death, but to find out that the guy you are suppose to see naked every day and don’t care, is your crush. It is too much.
“So you see it's just that we couldn't tell the people about us needing an aroma therapist. Imagine how many will be applying for the job." Brian, who is also "Thomas" with the familiar eyes, said laughing
“Oh! Yeah" Was the only answer I could come up with.
“And we choose you because you are young. You could make friends with him easily. Of course, this is Brian’s reason. For me, at least he wouldn’t doubt why you are really here. It’s just that he doesn’t like the idea that much" The one in the sunglasses, who I also figured that he is the one and only Kevin Richardson, told me. Two certificates and I got it because simply I am "young". What an encouragement.
“Oh I'm sorry Mr. Richardson; please don't tell me that he doesn’t like the idea. Any aromatherapy patient has to believe in the therapy in order for it to work. In a position like this it will mean that I failed with him.”
“Oh no, he will like it, trust me,” he said with a determined tone.
“So here we go” Brian said when we reached the room, then opened the door.
“Yo Nick…AJ, we want you to meet Miss Russell" Brian announced
“Hi” I said with an extended hand towards AJ.
“Wow” Then he was nudged by Howie,
"Oh sorry, nice to meet you” He said shaking my hand.
“Nice to meet you too"
Then the other hand belonged to Howie "Nice to have you on tour. Hope you like it with us" Always the Sweet D I see.
“Thanks”
“So, what are you doing on tour with us? You don't look like a musician or a dancer" Nick said. Hey mister, my hand is still in the air here. I expected anything but offensive. What did I do in my life that God would punish me like this?
“Miss Russell is an aroma-therapist for us on tour" Kevin said
“You shitting me" Nice answer Carter. -20 points for you
“Behave” Kevin answered with a “don’t mess with me look”
“Nice. I like that" That came from AJ. Always the charmer I guess. “We might need some relaxation every once a while”
“Oh yeah Nick, it's a nice idea" said Brian trying to convince him
So, here to me it looks like all of them know why I am here except my patient, he will like it my ass Mr. Richardson. The guy hates my guts. It shows from the way he looked at me.
“This thing is for gays, I ain’t one" Nick’s answer took me out of my thoughts
“I assure you Mr. Carter it’s not. Aromatherapy is just like any other therapy; with no chemicals in it. It's safer. It is simply an alternative medicine" I argued
“Who asked for your opinion anyway?” he looked my way and said with a nasty tone. Ok this is enough, I was about to say something, but thank goodness Kevin did first
“I said behave. How do you speak like this with a lady?" The only response he got from Nick was a pair of eyes rolling .Yet he completed "beside it's a done deal, Miss Russell is our aromatherapist, and she will be till the end of the tour, and you will be her patient". Nick looked up with surprised eyes.
“Just like the rest of us" Brian said looking at Kevin, trying not to blow their cover I guess
“Yeah…right…Just like the rest of us” Was Kevin’s only reply.
And I said to myself
OH GOD
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)